One on One

The strange thing about going from being a student to being staff in a training organisation means that people treat you differently. There's nothing un-normal about this, as students have a different status and purpose. As a student, you are given timetables, homework, assignments, work duties. You work in teams with the other students and it's only for a set period of time. For the Discipleship Training Students, things are done in 3-month blocks, so it's really hard for those who don't work directly in the school, but for other areas of the mission, to get to know the students in any deep or meaningful way.

However, one way I have found to combat this is to take the role of a so-called one-on-one. This is someone who is allocated a couple of students of the same sex to spend an hour a week with, to chat through with them how they are finding life in YWAM. It's great, because there's no set agenda or 'teaching' that I have to do, yet I can help two young men grow in their relationship with God by giving them a platform to explore, outside of the peer pressure/busy-ness of the week. I meet with my two guys and we just walk and talk. They share their journals with me and I can see how they are learning to become disciples of Christ. They are exploring their faith journey and it's such a priviledge to walk it with them.

It is done in my spare time, outside of my working week with YWAM, but I feel that it is two hours of the week very well spent - whether that's having lunch together, or taking a walk down the beach at sunset - to hear about someone else's walk with God is a great thing to do.

The other day, we invited the prayer and worship team over to our house to intercede for us as we move in and start a family. One of the team said to me: "In our department, we welcome people from the entire community to come and be prayed for. It is such a joy to do it, because as we pray for them, I start to see some of God's heart for that person and I just want to get to know them more and more. There has never been a time when we have prayed for someone and God hasn't showed up!"

I am not sure where God is leading me at the moment, or how the rest of my life will pan out, but what I do know is this: God is good, trustworthy and faithful.

S-Cape from human trafficking

Justice ACTs is now in the process of setting up S-CAPE - a haven for victims rescued from human trafficking. This safe house aims to address the immediate needs of victims including medical, legal and psycho-social as well as trauma support and counseling.

Becky is working to help furnish the property with her team and recruit a 'house mother' who will live with and take care of the residents when they arrive. She has been scouring house sales in the area, searching out materials - from blankets and bedding to white goods and other appliances, the safe house needs to be equipped if it is going to serve as a home.

As part of an effort to reintegrate and rehabilitate victims there will also be a skills training centre attached to S-cape. The type of training would be specific to each girl but we envision such things as basic computer skills, cooking, music & dance. We also have a number of volunteers coming to do art therapy and teach crafts which the ladies will hopefully be able to sell for a profit, to sustain themselves. Becky will be involved with this too. She is also currently recruiting and coordinating logistical details of new volunteers due to arrive soon.

When to give

Do you give to someone who begs you for money on the street?

Yes... what is a few coins to me, but it could mean a lot to them.

No... they're only going to spend it on drugs/alcohol.

I've been finding this question surprisingly difficult to answer. The debate appears never ending. It's a little easier to resist beggars as a tourist. But living here, the question becomes a little more complex. These are my neighbours.

In South Africa, the contrast between rich and poor is great. You can't escape from poverty when it's right on your doorstep. In many areas there are high walls with electric wires and 24-hour patrolling security on one side of the street, and shacks on the other with no security at all. Apart from, that is, the 'security' that comes from the gang culture which is ever-increasing here.

In the work that we do in Africa, it would feel somehow wrong if, after helping the people we reach out to in this continent, we do not care for those who live on our own doorstep. The easy answer (to say to to yourself) is: “the money you give all just goes on drugs, don't give.” or, “you'll be inundated...once they see you as a soft spot, they'll just come back for more and more.”. Both of these things I have said before – maybe to ease my own guilt/conscience in not helping those around us. That was until I had a conversation with the pastor's wife, who set me straight!

“What does it cost us, to help them a little bit?” she told me. “I feel so much more part of the community when I am friends with both rich and poor around me.”

This really challenged me. I know that the pastor's family is not rich. Far from it. They are living on a small budget and have to rely a lot of the time on the generosity of others for their own needs (they have just recently been donated a car to do their ministry). They live in a 'rich' part of town, protected by the usual security features. Yet they embrace the community around them.

“The communities here are very well connected,” she went on to tell me. “We had our car radio stolen and I was chatting to a guy begging outside the 7-11. He knows me and knows my heart. I've chatted to him a lot. He said to me 'sister, you are a good woman. I will help you get your radio back'. I kid you not, when I say that within two days, my car radio was returned to me.”

I wasn't sure what to make of that. Again, my cynical mind came up saying: It was the beggar who stole it in the first place or, There's a protection racket going on here but she wasn't at all thinking in that way. She said that she feels so much safer living in a community where she is not flaunting her wealth to those who don't have much, rather sharing what little she had with anyone and everyone she meets. She is a warm, happy, welcoming person whose love for others impressed me to do something. A small step, I know, but now when I go out I pledge to give what little I have (time, food, or even money!) to those in the community in which I live. Becky and I have budgeted our income and we aren't exactly 'flush with cash', but we are learning that we can still share what little we have.

In Africa, there's always room for one more.

Learning to give birth in a foreign land

At 34 weeks pregnant, we have now begun the antenatal classes in our new home: South Africa. As first time parents and 'newbies' to SA, we are somewhat unnerved by not knowing the healthcare system. Seven couples were there at the class, most of whom were preparing to have their first baby.

It is apparently increasingly popular for women to give birth at home and the professional medical advice now is that giving birth at home is a natural and normal thing to do and going to hospital should be limited to high risk, complications and emergencies. However, Becky and I are unsure of this and we are still weighing up the options. We have our first appointment with our obstetrician next week and we will discuss options with him and our midwife. It is essential to have a meeting with, and a referral from, an obstetrician to activate the medical insurance (apparently).

We learnt about the transition from being a couple to becoming parents, getting the baby into the best position for him to ‘engage’ – “be open, upright and forward leaning!” – as a modern man, I did my best to join. Angela had a model of a pelvis and a toy puppy to demonstrate the journey of a baby during labour. She showed how the baby engages, turns to allow the head through, then drops and turns again to allow the shoulder’s through. She also talked about all of the different hormones that a woman may experience around child birth and how to stimulate the good hormones (oxitocins, protoglandins and endorphins) and prevent/reduce the hormones which would prolong labour/make it harder (Adrenalin).

Tonight is our second session with Angela. Let's see what I can learn as a dad-to-be!

Learning to give birth in a foreign land

At 34 weeks pregnant, we have now begun the antenatal classes in our new home: South Africa. As first time parents and 'newbies' to SA, we are somewhat unnerved by not knowing the healthcare system. Seven couples were there at the class, most of whom were preparing to have their first baby.

It is apparently increasingly popular for women to give birth at home and the professional medical advice now is that giving birth at home is a natural and normal thing to do and going to hospital should be limited to high risk, complications and emergencies. However, Becky and I are unsure of this and we are still weighing up the options. We have our first appointment with our obstetrician next week and we will discuss options with him and our midwife. It is essential to have a meeting with, and a referral from, an obstetrician to activate the medical insurance (apparently).

We learnt about the transition from being a couple to becoming parents, getting the baby into the best position for him to ‘engage’ – “be open, upright and forward leaning!” – as a modern man, I did my best to join. Angela had a model of a pelvis and a toy puppy to demonstrate the journey of a baby during labour. She showed how the baby engages, turns to allow the head through, then drops and turns again to allow the shoulder’s through. She also talked about all of the different hormones that a woman may experience around child birth and how to stimulate the good hormones (oxitocins, protoglandins and endorphins) and prevent/reduce the hormones which would prolong labour/make it harder (Adrenalin).