Learn as you go

The strange part of God equipping the called is that you end up walking a path which is a lot less firm than if all the preparation had been done before. If I had spent years in Africa, travelling the continent and learning the ways of the people; if I had been in YWAM for many years, working my way through different departments, learning and growing, then I would be much more equipped to do the job I am doing now. But God put me firmly in a position and a place where I feel like I am daily walking on water. Yet I struggle to step out and act on that.
For those who aren't used to such metaphorical language to describe how we are feeling and what we are going through, let me explain. Because I've got a firm foundation to stand on, I'm able to walk on water. Most of these metaphors are difficult to grasp and are often over-used. That's why we need to regularly unpack what we mean and use plain language (by the way, thank you to David Ker for his excellent blog entry on cohesion and coherence.)
So, here goes:

Prov. 3: 5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

I have to remind myself that my foundation for living, and what I am doing in life should not be based what I see around me - my physical surroundings, my financial circumstances, my emotional state, my health or my well being. Rather, the foundation lies on a promise that God makes to everyone who calls on him that they will be saved from eternal damnation and live a life that is purposeful and rich. So, that's the foundation: believing the promise. Then there's the walking on water bit. That is about doing things that God calls me to do, even if they don't make sense in a 'logical', or 'normal' way of doing things. An example of this is being played out right now by my colleague Beth who is currently in central Africa to meet and greet someone who has asked us for our support. As a team, we heard the call and knew it was from God. Without money or means, and without asking anyone for help, she was sponsored to travel there by someone who didn't know the calling. God made a way.
When I see such provision and guidance, I realise that, all too often, I do not personally allow these to enter into my life enough. I talk freely about firm foundations in Christ, and the need to step out in faith; to walk on water. But I struggle to do it, and therefore I don't always see the miraculous provision and guidance that is part and parcel of walking a life of faith. In my brokenness, my prayer for this week is that God would bring me back to that place where He is the one providing and I am the one trusting.